My struggles…
My name is Cindy and this blog is all about me. I want to be completely honest, unashamed, candid, and expose myself and my struggles. Those struggles include an almost lifetime fight with weight, yo-yo dieting, self-esteem issues, my health, and depression. I am ready to do what it takes for "me" to get off this roller coaster.
Wake up call…
I not only found out I have diabetes and high blood pressure and that I need to do something before I drop dead...but I finally realized that am sick and tired of being sick and tired and hating everything about myself. Most of my friends and family might be surprised by that, they see me as confident, outspoken and happy. Really, I do have a wonderful life. I am blessed to have a fantastic, supportive husband and beautiful children. I have great friends, a wonderful support group that gets me through the tough times and makes me thankful for the good times. I just realized that I am “hating” my life away because I'm not happy with me! And I have to do something, now!
Limitations…
My size is putting big limitations on the personal enjoyments in my life. The bigger I get, the harder it is to travel on an airplane or ride on a bus. Amusement parks with the tiny seats are out of the question! It’s becoming hard to keep up with others on walks and bicycle trips. We live by the ocean and I can't walk on the beach because it hurt my knees and hips. I got a beautiful new beach cruiser bike but I am unsteady and always afraid of falling so it’s sitting in the garage.
At the age of 48, I can't afford to stay on this roller coaster. I'm getting off!
My weight problems began in adolescence. Through the years I've yo-yo dieted my way into a size 30, and my self-esteem plummets with each increase in size. In this blog I will be focusing on "MY" journey! Don't judge me...I have tried every diet under the sun and nothing works. Oh sure, I can lose weight, my problem is keeping it off! Every time I lose a 1lb I gain 2 back! "Will Power" you say? Don't even go there!
I'm going to stop blaming myself...
Despite conventional wisdom, obesity is not simply a result of overeating. Research has shown that in many cases a significant, underlying cause of morbid obesity is genetic. Am I blaming my parents? No. But, genes do play an important role in your tendency to gain excess weight. Just as some genes determine eye color or height, others affect our metabolism, our fat-storing ability, and even our weight! No wonder I always feel like I'm fighting a losing battle! It's just going to take me a little longer but I'll get there!
I have such a pretty face...
I hate feeling awkward in my own body and hearing the words, “You know, she has such a pretty face,” over and over again. I can't count how many times I've heard that phrase and trust me, it's an insult...unintentional as it may be...to a fat girl, it is! I can't wait until I can step out from behind this "pretty face" and reveal the real me. I know it's going to be a long journey with a lot of bumps in the road but I have made my decision, and I'm ready for a new healthier life!
"MY" chance...
Weight loss is a life-altering journey that takes time and I am finally going to take the steps to love myself enough to give myself a second chance at life. I want to ride my bike, walk on the beach and go on rides with my kids. I don't want to worry about seats on an airplane or a seat belt extender. Part of loving me is starting this journey. With that in mind, I've started putting together the information I need for success and to help me stay on track...I bought an elliptical that is going to become my best friend, I've started making small changes towards healthier eating...all of which I will share with you here!
I need to remember I'm not perfect...
I am going to remember that I don’t have to be perfect to lose weight. If I get off track, I'm just going to get right back on track. I won't let myself sabotage the rest of the day or week or month. It’s like getting a flat tire—you fix it and move on, you don’t poke holes in the rest of your tires.
I need you...
This isn't going to be easy for me but I'm just going to stop poking holes in all my tires and drive on. :) I will be blogging throughout my journey and each step of the way I need your love, support and maybe your help fixing a flat tire now and then! ;)
Stay tuned...
I will be posting my highs and lows in hopes that this blog will help me be accountable and I know that your support will only contribute to my success :)
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